Even though it was made abundantly clear and maybe I’ve always known, it didn’t take away that all too familiar sting. I should be used to it by now but it doesn’t make it any easier to manage. I really have tried…maybe not as well as a normal person would have but I did try. I am just not one to be liked back, not a person who’s company you seek, just not meant to have that feeling anymore. I really wish you could have liked me back in some way. I just need some damn validation for once. When was the last time anyone even admitted to liking me? I shouldn’t want someone who doesn’t even try yet here I am still carrying this torch like I don’t find comfort in the dark anyways. The torch is just semantics, aesthetics…useless. Maybe it’s been the first new person I have comes across in a long time and I just wanted to grab onto it. I don’t think that is entirely correct. I have liked you for a awhile now…it came early, fast, and without a hint of warning to be found. I shouldn’t even like you, nothing screams out that I should.
I always hope you are there even though I can’t find the words to speak.You make me laugh but so do others. We are more similar than I give us credit but maybe that’s not always a good thing. I am so open with you. It’s almost insane to think how open I have been with you in the short amount of time that I have known you. The things I have told you, I haven’t told many people. I hadn’t even told one person until fairly recently. And at the time I had known him for 6 years, Oh no, not you though, less than a year, and boom! I tell you. I don’t know if it’s because that’s just the kind of person you are or I trust you so much, perhaps both in this case. From what I gleam, I enjoy your personality, maybe because I see myself in it too, I can relate to you…only if you would let me… There is one thing that you say that I swear is the cutest thing to grace my ears. It is lame but my heart warms each time I hear it. I have to pretend it doesn’t do that.
Maybe the fault was telling you that I did like you. I should have just made sure you did first. That’s what I get for saying something first. I took a huge risk by telling you. Something that I have never done in my life. One hand, I felt good saying it but on the other it got me absolutely nowhere. That’s just how these things go. You probably don’t even remember that I even told you. If you did, I don’t think you would have talked about someone else so blatantly. Maybe you didn’t care. I will never know the truth.
The truth, we claim we want to hear it but when it does come out, we try very hard to deny it. “Tell ’em that it’s human nature.”